By Venida C. Rodman Jenkins

As the director of a gender equity center which promotes inclusion and the eradication of all forms of oppression, I have also had the unique opportunity to utilize my pastoral role in support of students as they explore the intersections of their identities and seek a better understanding of who they are and how faith plays out in their lives.

Over the past decade, these conversations have swelled as our Center and other entities have intentionally focused training and programming on ensuring members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, plus (LGBTQIA+) communities are seen, affirmed, and included in the life of the campus community. It seems students are more inclined to come out when there is a safe and caring space to live out their true authentic selves. Members of our community have directed students to speak with me about matters of faith since they are aware of my role as a pastor. As such, I have been able to provide faith-based resources for students and other members of our community as well, as they negotiate their faith and sexuality.

I am grateful for the opportunity to extend inclusion efforts beyond race, class, and gender. Conversations of faith and spirituality are critical conversations to have – even at a state institution of higher education. It is fortuitous that I would be in this role at this time. My family was silent on these issues, and my conservative faith traditions of Catholic, Pentecostal, and Baptist spoke out publicly against same-gender-loving relationships, and these churches were not inclusive spaces for these individuals. The exception was Riverfront Family Church founded by the late Rev. Nancy Butler in Hartford, Connecticut where I served on the preaching and worship teams. They are an interdenominational church affiliated with the American Baptist organization. Rev. Butler’s teachings helped me understand the importance of my role as an ally to LGBTQIA+ communities.

As a result of being connected to Pastor Nancy and this community, I have an insatiable desire to help those persons who identify within the LGBTQIA+ community but no longer connect with their faith because they were told they couldn’t own their sexual orientation or gender identity, and have a relationship with God. Those people who identify within the community but are still working in churches where they can be active but not out. Those who are in churches where they are only welcome to be present, but not fully included. As I provide resources and support to students and others, my desire is to be a pastoral ally who strives for radical inclusion and beauty in the neighborhood through the unconditional love of God. 

 Fred Rogers designed his popular children’s show – Mr. Rogers Neighborhood – around a beautiful neighborhood where everyone was welcome and treated fairly. The show ran from 1968 to 2001 with 895 episodes. The host, Fred Rogers was a performer, composer, author, an ordained Presbyterian minister, father, and grandfather, and he was deeply committed to helping young children love and appreciate themselves, to love others and essentially be a good neighbor. The show covered a broad range of topics over the years, and the series tackled issues that other children's programming avoided.

I wanted to avoid the topic of LGBTQ inclusion for a very long time. I wanted to avoid the topic even though I knew that it was not a beautiful day in the neighborhood for queer, trans and gender non-conforming people. I was taught a theology of exclusion, and when I was exposed to more progressive teachings and beliefs, I avoided them. I am grateful that this is not the end of my story. As a result of educating myself and hearing the stories of friends and other people who identify in the community, I have been able to “come out” as an ally, a pastor, a friend, and a neighbor – as they continue to experience oppression and marginalization from within the church and without. 

Scripture tells us that we are to love God with our entire being – our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. I’m convinced that our students and colleagues are our neighbors. The universal Golden Rule is that we should treat others as we wish to be treated. Students can experience liberation through education and love as we treat them with the same level of respect we ourselves wish to be treated. It is in this type of environment that they can learn, grow, think critically, and ultimately become global citizens.

     While it seems like a simple gesture to treat everyone fairly, our society continues to render members of the LGBTQIA+ community insignificant and invisible. When we choose not to see people, we rid them of their humanity, and we create a dangerous and hostile environment for them to dwell.

This issue is still a disputable matter in the church and families (similar to ordaining women and divorce). Pastor and author Ken Wilson talks about this topic in his book, Letter to My Congregation: An Evangelical Pastor’s Path to Embracing People Who Are Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender in the Company of Jesus. 

There are respected theologians who could deconstruct scripture and eloquently argue for their inclusivity in faith-based spaces, and those who could interpret the same verses in different ways and argue against affirming this community in the church. I personally have found freedom and joy in genuinely loving the LGBTQIA+ community unconditionally. I thought that I was at one point, but I was only skimming the surface. The more that I have connected with God on this issue, the more real my relationship with God has become, and it has helped me live life to the full and provide the support I need to give to others.

It hasn’t been easy, I’ve been marginalized by family and friends as a result of my stance. A number of people have distanced themselves from me, I’ve lost friends, I’ve gotten yelled at, and a finger pointed in my face in the process of advocating for those who identify. When I share these stories, there are those who feel bad or sorry for me, and I encourage them to focus those energies on the LGBTQIA community. I still have a myriad of unearned privilege that the LGBTQIA+ community does not have. My partner and I can walk down the street holding hands, showing public displays of affection. I can go to the movies and almost always see my heterosexual relationship reflected and represented in the storyline. I don’t think twice about putting pictures of us in my office or sharing what the two of us did over the weekend. For the most part, people acknowledge the full breadth and depth of our relationship – we’re not just relegated to what we do in the bedroom. In this context, it’s safe for me to be free. And the reality is, I don’t even think about it. As it relates to the intersections of my social identities though, I’m still a black woman who experiences some form of marginalization daily. However, I’m using my heterosexual privilege to create access and to give voice to members of the LGBTQIA+ community. This was quite perplexing to one of my friends who was curious about my advocacy and allyship. “I thought you supported black people,” she said. Well, what about blacks who identify within the LGBTQ community? The reality is that my liberation is connected to the liberation of other oppressed groups. The late Archbishop Desmond Tutu said, ““If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

As I share my personal journey of loving, supporting, and advocating for the LGBTQIA+ community I still get things wrong, but I continue to check in with people, in a respectful way, for clarification when I have questions. 

I believe that if we are to love God with our entire being, and then love our neighbor as ourselves, then my faith must lead me to truly acknowledge and embrace this community. If I see them beaten up by federal and local laws, asked offensive questions, forced to endure off comments, hurt, stripped of their humanity and dignity, and left broken, then I do them a disservice when I pass on the other side of the street. The emotional and psychological scars that some members of this group have endured and continue to endure are great. They have, particularly our youth, high rates of suicide, anxiety, and depression. They need love, not isolation and violence.

The late bell hooks said, “Without love, our efforts to liberate ourselves and our 

world community from oppression and exploitation are doomed. As long as we refuse to 

address fully the place of love in struggles for liberation we will not be able to create a 

culture of conversion where there is a mass turning away from an ethic of domination.” 

I reached out to a few friends within the LGBTQ community to add to this piece. The question that I posed was – what do you want church people to know about the LGBTQ community?     Representing the T is a trans person who says, “make sure our voices are heard. Don’t just say, ‘God loves you,’ but let our voices be a part of the collective; have faith be met where the person is at.”

     Representing the L is a teacher who was dismissed from her church teaching duties when she was outed, and word got around church that she was a lesbian. She could no longer teach the children she loved in a church where she had a desire to develop a deeper connection with God. “Just because we identify doesn’t mean that we don’t believe in God or have a relationship with God. “I still pray and read the Bible.” She encourages those who want to be welcoming of the LGBTQIA community to be mindful of certain comments. Sometimes the questioning is very difficult.”     Representing the L is a woman who talks about the hurt she experiences when people ask, “how that works” or  “is that really a thing.” It’s a good idea to check in and ask what they need and not assume. It’s always good to respect pronouns. When people ask her, “how did you know?” she asks the same question - “Well how did you know?” It is important to respect how someone identifies in the same way we would want to be respected. When someone is coming out to you, in many cases, they just want you to listen and be supportive.     And finally…Representing the G is a man who asked me to highlight the church’s role in fighting oppression. From abolitionism to the civil rights movement, the church has played a critical role in restoring humanity to those who have been ostracized. Even Jesus Christ can be revered as a human rights activist. So, like Christ, it is our duty as Christians to actively fight oppression and any threat to human rights. I say all that to say this – that while some Christians don’t believe in “overtly” denouncing homosexuality, treating gay people and/or their relationships as if they are any less valuable in the eyes of God is a form of oppression. And while they may believe that homosexuality is a sin, being a shepherd for oppression is a grave sin in and of itself. God may be tough on Her children, but She would never oppress us.”       So as allies, we must really see this community, affirm them, ask what they need, educate ourselves, and continue to love them so we can truly love our neighbors and create a beautiful day in the neighborhood.     I trust that my allyship and advocacy can serve as an impetus for others to do the same. Those who are on a journey to support this community but feel unsafe because coming out as an ally might be too risky for their reputation. Those who feel vulnerable and fear death – death of your good name, death of friendships, death of their comfort zone. 

As for Mr. Rogers… his biographer Michael G. Long noted that even though he was known to include LGBTQIA+ individuals among his friends and cast them on his show at one point he condemned gay marriage. We all deal with discrepancies and struggles; however, it is important to acknowledge them and work toward greater inclusion at all costs.

Long said, “At last, perhaps we should turn the camera lens toward ourselves and assure Fred Rogers that we like him just as he was: the opposite of machismo, a loving husband and father, a close friend and employer of gays, a man who grew to support at least one friend’s desire for an openly gay relationship and, above all else, a compassionate human being who assured each of us that, no matter who we are or what we do, we are always and everywhere lovable and capable of loving…Anyone. Just as they are.”

Rev. Venida C. Rodman Jenkins is Forefront's Teaching Pastor who hails from Teaneck, N.J. Her background reflects a unique, interdenominational mix of Catholic, Pentecostal, and Baptist faith traditions. She draws from each to provide love, visibility, encouragement and spaces of belonging to underrepresented groups.  

She is the Director of the Speicher-Rubin Women’s Center for Equity and Diversity at New Jersey City University; founder and pastor of EMBRACE Church, and an Adjunct Professor at Newhouse NYC, Syracuse University.

She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Syracuse University, and the Master of Divinity degree from New York Theological Seminary.

At Forefront, Venida preaches regularly, while also being responsible for leadership development, providing pastoral care and opportunities for growth, and enhancing connection by working with our deacons in the areas of Groups and Care.

Venida loves singing, sushi, and the arts. She resides in Jersey City, NJ with her fabulous parents and partner-in-squashing-oppression, Todd L. Jenkins