Makenzie Gomez (@baby_got_mak__) opened the door on purity culture in the first sermon in our new series: Sex Positive.

In the 1990s, the white, American, Evangelical Christian Purity Movement was launched. Men were expected to be strong, “masculine” leaders and women were expected to be pretty, “feminine,” supportive wives and mothers. For many of us, we know that purity culture is a toxic myth, but we haven’t been given what we need to really move forward… and that leaves us with lingering shame.

When I was 21, I had sex for the first time and discovered I didn’t burst into flames or feel like chewed gum. I also discovered that my soul wasn’t forever tied to that person. And even though I knew that, part of me still believed I should probably marry him. The shame spiral got louder.

The first step forward for me was to embrace honesty and truthfulness with myself and with God. The minute I stopped hiding and making myself small to try to fit the purity culture standard was the minute I actually opened my eyes and heart enough to truly know God.

As @MatthiasRoberts says in #BeyondShame, “Instead of covering our eyes and hiding from everything sexual, we will learn to stop turning away from our bodies, our sexuality, and our feelings, and turn toward knowing ourselves and finding freedom.”

And as @LindaKayKlein says, “If I am not alone then I’m not the problem.” Purity Culture is something outside ourselves. Yes, we may have internalized it. But it doesn’t define us. It’s something we can heal from together!

What about Scripture? When “sexual immorality” appears in the Bible, it refers to the Greek word “porneia,” which is an ambiguous word that is very hard to define. What if the ambiguity is intentional? What if the Bible is encouraging us to interpret the answer for ourselves?

Lean into the ambiguity. Whether you are unmarried or married, whether you want to have sex or have no interest at all — exercise our God-given human abilities of practicing discernment, navigating with integrity, challenging and questioning everything, claiming bodily autonomy, confirming consent (both with a partner and with yourself).

Honoring God with my body today means not forcing myself to marry a man, because that lie would just push me farther away from God. Honoring God with my body means standing before you preaching, as a queer full figured Mexican woman with short hair. It looks like getting good sleep, drinking lots of water, and eating nutritiously. Honoring God with my body means honoring the body God gave me. What does honoring God with your body mean for you?