"Will You?" Poem on Comfort Care During Care Giving
Some folx have asked about the impetus for the poem, and I really had to sit with my thoughts and reflect. It actually came from the leading of the Holy Spirit who continues to remind me of the magnitude of this journey as a daughter. It is so deep that I cannot actually comprehend it at times. Throughout the past few months, I’ve been recording and documenting Mom’s responses and reactions to everyday life. The poem was birthed from the many experiences we’ve had during this season of comfort care - hospice.I actually came to understand that I had to readjust how I cared for her. My support group helped me realize how important it is to just let her be and to shift MY life accordingly. I needed to let go of certain routines and schedules, and let Mom lead in this moment. I had to ask myself - “Will You?” shift your life to truly honor her end of life. It would be the only way we would all remain healthy and whole during this season of transition. The answers to all of the questions in the poem would have to be an exuberant yes allowing our family to experience life to the full.
Will You?
By Rev. Venida Cheryl Rodman Jenkins in dedication to “Mommy”- Rev. Lucy Gertrude Rodman
Will you step to her rhythm, and move to her flow?
Will you simply sit and wait when she resists with a “no”?
Will you gently satisfy her palate with delectable cuisine?
Will you be content with her sleeping late since, after all, she is the Queen?
Will you open your heart and listen when her words try to connect?
Will you treasure the funny expressions which help us all to forget?
Will you cherish the moments she refers to you as “cousin” or “the girl”?
Will you prioritize her needs as being the most important thing in the world?
Will you feel comfortable in the shower together fully bare?
Will you take the time to bathe her and moisture her with care?
Will you squeeze her neck and receive her earnest words to God?
Will you sit next to her as she naps – long or short nods?
Will you be her audience as she sings with the angels in her head?
Will you exercise patience when she doesn’t feel like going to bed?
Will you comply when she orders you to “sit down”?
Will you add more honey to her tea when she gives you that frown?
Will you roll her outside to soak in the bright sunshine at the beach?
Will you admire her extending hellos to the children and smiling at each?
Will you adjust your voice to a whisper when she says you’re too loud?
Will you celebrate her achievements and always be proud?
The answer to each question is an exuberant “yes” – “amen” – “I will”.
While she is in her final stage of life, I resolve to love her still.
Rev. Venida C. Rodman Jenkins is Forefront's Teaching Pastor who hails from Teaneck, N.J. Her background reflects a unique, interdenominational mix of Catholic, Pentecostal, and Baptist faith traditions. She draws from each to provide love, visibility, encouragement and spaces of belonging to underrepresented groups.
She is the Director of the Speicher-Rubin Women’s Center for Equity and Diversity at New Jersey City University; founder and pastor of EMBRACE Church, and an Adjunct Professor at Newhouse NYC, Syracuse University.
She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Syracuse University, and the Master of Divinity degree from New York Theological Seminary.
At Forefront, Venida preaches regularly, while also being responsible for leadership development, providing pastoral care and opportunities for growth, and enhancing connection by working with our deacons in the areas of Groups and Care.
Venida loves singing, sushi, and the arts. She resides in Jersey City, NJ with her fabulous parents and partner-in-squashing-oppression, Todd L. Jenkins